Saturday, May 5, 2012

International Bereaved Mothers' Day, 6 May 2012

To many of you, this is news. To many of you, I hope you never have to celebrate this. To a small unfortunate group, this is reality.

A swan plant provides nourishment to caterpillars of Monarch butterflies.  Not all caterpillars grow like Eric Carle's Hungry caterpillar and grow up to become butterflies. Some of them die, and they drop to the ground. This is a sad fact of life. At Pt Chevalier School, we have big bushes of swan plants. My students learn about life and death. I told my students about my baby who died. They often ask if I am sad. Today, I read someone saying, our deceased babies will never leave our hearts. Our hearts need to grow bigger and bigger so we can be like the swan plant, and provide more nourishment for more  caterpillars.

It was only after 17 years after I was bereaved that in 2007, at Mt Albert Baptist Church on Mothers' Day that a prayer was said for those who have lost their mums and also for those mums who have lost their children. On the second sunday in May, when everyone is celebrating Mother's day, they forget ther is a group of women who couldn't. Because for many of them, they should have been Mothers, but they couldn't. Even I have other surviving children, My heart remembers Andrew. 

It is good that some bereaved mothers themselves have chosen the first Sunday of May to celebrate this day. I dedicate this day to all my blogger friends who are bereaved mothers, and facebooks friends, and friends whereever you are. To the Sands mums. Others might not remember but, we stand in sisterhood, because we belong to this special club. To the newest member, C who is not even one week old as a member.  In Chinese, a child's birthday is called SHOU NAN RE, a day of great suffering. This is a super duper SHOU NAN RE.

This May 13 will be hard for you. I pray for you.

International Bereaved Mothers Day was created by us in 2010 and it now falls on the first Sunday of every May. This year’s day is on Sunday May 6th 2012.
This special day was created to honour and celebrate mothers who carry some if not all of their children in their hearts rather than their arms.  In our modern day society, mothers who are grieving the death of their babies and children are usually forgotten. The traditional Mothers Day has proven to be an emotionally difficult day for so many mothers around the world.
On this day each year we come together to celebrate our connection, our babies and children and our hope for the future. We look at their ultrasound photos, polish their urns, lay flowers at their graves, visit special places and light candles in their memory.
Sunday May 6th 2012, get together with your closest friends and family who understand and celebrate you. Celebrate your children.


Anonymous said...

I can't imagine what it is like to lose a young child. I sincerely hope your faith helps you.

Deb from WhatsInMyAttic said...

You have experienced the unthinkable, yet continue on to encourage others who travel that same road. I am in awe, and will remember this when I'm feeling sorry for myself because circumstance of of life has taken my only child and her family across the country where they are thriving. God bless you, and thank you for this post.

Unknown said...

Ann, I walk this same path with you. My son Sean is forever in my heart daily. May all Mother's who have lost a child, be blessed. One day we will be able to join our children ... I greet that day.

Have a lovely weekend ~

Tolga said...

it's a great blog, like it
have good weekend:)

Ginny Hartzler said...

Our church for awhile considered not celebrating Mother's Day because of the childless women who would be left out, them feeling bad. But tradition was too strong, we still have a Mother's day breakfast, but ALL the women are invited, not just moms. But it would still be sad.