Wednesday, March 3, 2010

FSO:Mar. 5 - In Remembrance - A Special Request by ChefE

This may be a hard one since a few of us have experienced loss firsthand over the past years.. My daughters birthday was today, so this week just seemed like a good time to give everyone a chance to remember a loved one- mother, father, sister, brother, beloved pets, or all family who stood out in many ways. Also remembering those who have given their lives for us is something we should do on a regular basis, even if we did not get the chance to shake their hand in person. Elizabeth.

Dear Elizabeth,

In the process of part taking in Friday Shoot Out, I have made some very special friends, and shared something very close to our hearts. We found that we both belong to the Club of bereaved mums. It must be ESP that you have sent from USA across the ocean to New Zealand at this very time for this week's challenge. For it came at the right time.

A very special member of my family has just joined our Club yesterday. Her baby died inside her, and right now she is waiting for some medication to induce the baby to come out of her body. She had to go through full labour and childbirth knowing that at the end of it , she was having a dead baby.

I remember my pastor's wife Olwyn Dixon telling me that this is the worst thing a woman has to face. I cried and felt an array of emotion for her. I cry for the loss of the healthy baby she lost. I am relieved that the baby didn't live to become a very handicapped baby.

This year, my Andrew would be planning his 21st birthday celebration. Instead his body lies in a grave at the Waikumate Cemetery as 55 day old baby. He is not there, he is up in Heaven. My heart remembers him everyday.

I have moved on, and I see having him for such a short time as a gift. A gift that I can comfort other bereaved mums. You will be surprised to know how many mums are bereaved. By my sharing, many mums or relatives share with me their loss. Some of them had never been free to talk about their loss because of their culture. Many tell me that my openness on this issue have helped them.

This post is dedicated to all mums, dads, grand parents who have lost their young loved ones. For no bereavement is worst than the tragedy of saying goodbye to and burying someone younger than you. It is against nature.

This post is also in remembrance of the loved ones of Barry and Linda, and QueenMM.


Suburban Girl said...

Nothing is as difficult as losing a child. Your post is beautiful.

spiritsoflena said...

This was a powerful post and your compassion shines through.

Barry said...

That was a very difficult and powerful post to read Ann. Also very touching.

Thank you for your honesty and your integrity and your best wishes,


Jama said...

I've never lost a child but seeing my own mom lost her 2 young children, it still hurt me,so I understand your pain, Ann. I wanted to post their pictures and my late dad but I can't find a decent picture of them in my home.

Chef E said...

Oh Ann, you just reminded me of the child I lost before Ane. Long story, but it does affect us emotionally as we are connected in so many ways.

I am glad to have met all of you, it has been an incredible journey of healing to see what each of you go through...

My heart is with you all, and the photos you shared are things I have not yet been able to look at...a video of my daughters memorial service...only just beginning to go beyond what I have...


Bagman and Butler said...

This was a powerful post and, yes, difficult to read. I think this week's topic will be harder than some -- and yet cleansing.

Lee said...

Hello Ann, I regret to read of your long ago loss. I'm sorry.
Noting hurst more than the loss of a close family member. I feel your loss, Ann.
Your warm eloquence is heartwarming.

What though the radiance which was once so bright,
be now forever taken from my sight.
Though nothing can bring back the hour,
of splendour in the grass,
of Glory in the flowers,
We will grieve not.
Rather find strength in what remains behind.

My mom too lost her first son, my brother 'Jimmy'. He was 3. It was during the 2nd WW, the Japanese were ransacking Malacca where my parents, relatives were hiding in a rubber estate deep in the hinterland.
He got sick, they couldn't get a doctor and he died from convulsions and high fever.
Thus I'm the only son, three younger sisters.

Incidentally, there is a young lady here who is thinking of how to say goodbye to her two very young kids, girls.
She will will be going on a journey of no return, will not be spending X'mas with them this year.
She has been diagnosed with cancer and has less than a year.

It is sad that life is so unpredictable and sometimes beyond our understanding.
But I guess God knows the reasons.

You have a pleasant weekend, and keep a song in your heart. Best regards, Lee.
ps, not sure what you meant re your first sentence in my place. Can enlighten me? Ha ha.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely tribute to your friend and a well written account of a sad time. Your story telling skills are getting better all the time dear Ann.

NanU said...

A wonderful tribute, Ann. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Pauline said...

What a beautiful post, Ann! Truly beautiful!

Ensurai said...

For years I could not get over the death of my dear brother at age 29 (pancreatisis)in 1981. He would have been 57 this year. My mum was so grief stricken . She had lost her beloved husband and now the other man of the house. How heart breaking it was for a widow to lose a son!

It is good to remember. Thank you. When we remember our dearly departed is with us.

shabby girl said...

You have touched each and every one of our hearts. Thank you for posting such a deep and personal part of yourself.

~JarieLyn~ said...

Thank you Ann, this was a very emotional post and it shows through your writing and through your photos. The second photo really conveys the heartbreak and sadness.

This was just beautiful.

J9 said...

Ann, I cannot even imagine the pain and sorrow you must feel every day. Thank-you for sharing your story and helping other moms!

SJB aka SUELYN J-B. said...

Sorry for your loss.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Ann, It is important to remember and share with others. These babies were important..and a real part of your very sad. I am sorry:)

A Scattering said...

Anne this was lovely, thanks for sharing your story and grief.

Sue Elvis said...

Ann, thank you for visiting my blog and sharing my grief story. Yes, we belong to the same club.
"By my sharing, many mums or relatives share with me their loss" - that is why I blog and tell Thomas' story. Grief is very lonely, isn't it? To find others who understand is a great gift.
I guess you wrote your book for similar reasons to me: to celebrate the life of my child, to share his story so others feel less alone, to remember... I'm pleased I have met you!